The 10 Commandments of Groove Disques
If there's one thing the Groove Disques catalog is known for it's an exquisite sense of taste. Or maybe it's our vision. Since 1986, the label has not released one note of initially trendy and thereafter embarrassingly cheesey music. Like a good button-down Oxford shirt, our releases are never really "in style" but always stylish. Outsiders may assume that it's the label's knack for finding artists with good taste that have kept this streak alive, but the fact is, we at Groove Disques MAKE our artists. The A&R department seeks musicians with raw talent, lean bodies, full heads of hair, and the right balance of astrological signs. From there, strong material and strict obeyance to the following set of commandments offsets the physical ravages of time and ensures the creation of records that will be fully appreciated long after the musicians can reap the full benefits of the adulation. We urge you to apply these commandments to your own musical activites, whether as a musician or a listener.
1 Thou shalt not abuse echo as a vocal device (see lone New Radicals hit or "Us and Them" by Pink Floyd).
2 Thou shalt not hire the Memphis Horns ("Stax/Volt Lite") to spruce up your otherwise soul-less major label debut.
3 Thou shalt not allow Mitchell Froom, his "exquisite" taste, his vintage instruments, and his "spiritual compressor" to produce said major label debut. A well-scrubbed kitchen sink is no kitchen sink at all. Demand more, even if it's too much!
4 Thou shalt not contemplate the "poetry" of Jim Morrison; enjoy "Break on Through", "Land Ho", "LA Woman", and the drumming of John Densmore, but not much else.
5 Thou shalt not sing about Jesus, hellhounds, the Delta, cornbread, or voodoo unless you have some sincere interest in/experience with the subject matter.
6 Thou shalt not base one's act on mental or emotional instability, devil worship, or vampirism without proper documentation.
7 Thou shalt not play "pointy" guitars; if it was developed after the late-'70s BC Rich "Bitch", it ain't going on a Groove Disques release.
8 Thou shalt not cover a stripped down version of any Peter Gabriel song, almost all of which are boring enough with 96-track, UN-sanctioned production.
9 Thou shalt not write or arrange an Elvis Presley novelty song.
10 Thou shalt not tell a fellow musician "The only rule is there are no rules!" There are.
"Classic" Nixon's Head guitarist Mike Fingeroff wrote us to offer the following additions to The Commandments:
i. Thou shalt not perform any extended jams on a song unless they have been completly planned out in advance (Rosenau's Law, 1987).
ii. Thou shalt not play any bass with more than four strings unless you are Tony Levin.
Another Nixon's Head guitarist, Jim McMahon, offers the following defense of pointy guitars (Commandment #7):

In defense of pointy guitars, they have a pedigree on par with the statocaster and Les Paul, the violin and viola of the electric guitar family. The Gibson Explorer, the parallelogram shaped grandfather of all pointy guitars, was introduced in 1958. The playing public didn't take to the shape and Gibson placed the guitar on ice until the experimental late 60's. The commandment against pointy guitars also places the popular Gibson SG in a sticky situation. The SG was the official Les Paul model from about 1962 to 1968 (Gibson did not make the traditional Les Paul model during this period.) The SG is unmistakably pointier than a two tined devil's pitchfork, yet is the sonic backbone of many classic tunes. (Personally, I was never comfortable with the SG's look.) If this commandment must be followed without execption, I'll help weed through your vinyl collection and destroy all of the offending discs, starting with Funkadelic; Bootsy Collins' bass had points numbering close to infinity!

For further musings from Jim McMahon, click here.

The Anderson Council's Rob Farrell, never having been a Nixon's Head guitarist, chimes in:

I have to agree w/Jim McMahon about alot of his views. The Gibson SG, Explorer, and Flying V are exempt. I think you should rewrite that commandment to read something more like "Any pointy headstock guitar (aka The Dwarf Killer) built after 1978 is strictly off limits." This spares the 58 Explorer and Flying Vs, the SG, and all the other weird-yet-cool guitars from back in the day.

heavy pop values!
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